Look Back at It

2014 was definitely not my year.  Almost 9 months of unemployment, an end to a long-term relationship, and general fuckery made 2014 kind of the worst.  But as shitastic as it was, the last few months have made me really grateful for what I have, what I’ve learned, and what I’ve gained.  Here’s a short list:

  • Good friends – you can’t have enough.
  • Bad friends – identifying them and cutting them out is very liberating.
  • New friends – it’s hard to make new friends out of college or without a job but I made a couple of pretty awesome ones.
  • 9 months of unemployment – as utterly depressing and unproductive as it was, I worked through a lot of insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. It also helped me learn to cope with my anxiety issues and realize I have incredibly supportive family and friends.
  • School – At least I’m getting my masters?
  • Getting out of my comfort zone – it’s easy to just wallow in your own crapulence or stay sheltered in the tiny microcosm you’ve created for yourself but that doesn’t really get you anywhere. I did things I would have never done in 2013.  I poured my heart out on stage in front of a bunch of strangers.  I gave someone a chance I probably wouldn’t have for no other reason than plain fear and it paid off big time.  I forced myself to reevaluate a lot of people and things in my life and cut them out if they didn’t bring value.
  • Things work out – I’m a natural worrier and drive myself in an anxious frenzy with little force so thankfully, 2014 taught me this lesson. It tortured me first but eventually, I realized if I just listened to my intuition, stopped trying to control the uncontrollable, and followed the current instead of fighting it, things would work out.  Maybe not in the way I’d hope they would but the pieces would slowly come together if I just let them.

This is by no means exhaustive or definitive but it’s what comes to mind right now.  I don’t have any New Year’s resolutions for 2015 but . . . I’m sure it’ll work out.

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