I’m flying out tonight to go on my first big girl vacation in a while. My biffle and I have been planning this trip for a long time and today is finally the day. While you guys are stuck here in The Eternal Winter, I’ll be enjoying sunny skies and balmy nights in Norway, y’all!!!!
…. So there won’t be that much of a weather change BUT I’m going on a fjord tour throughout the country to hang out with elves and hobbits because this shit is obviously Middle Earth:
Then it’s off to Greece where it’s all fun in the sun in the low to mid 60s!!!!
GODDAMN IT SARAH — THAT’S NOT SHORTS WEATHER UNLESS YOU’RE WHITE.
Lest ye think I’m bragging — I DESERVE THIS VACATION, MMMKAY? It’s been a tough year/life and last week was effing miserable. Everything that could possibly make my academic and professional life as stressful as I could withstand without completely imploding converged on me last week. SHUT UP ABOUT TIME MANAGEMENT AND PLANNING AHEAD. ONLY PSYCHOPATHS DO THAT. HAVENT YOU SEEN GONE GIRL??!?
Last time I went on a vacation was 3 years ago when I went to Miami and Orlando. Last time I left the country was over ten years ago and I went to good ole Pakistan where I had a gun pulled out on me. HURRAY FOR PAKISTAN.
So after recurring stress dreams about missing my flight, not packing important items, not finishing my thesis paper draft that I have to submit before I leave, and my dad coming back IM GONNA ENJOY THIS VACATION DAMNIT. Normally, I’d feel guilty about spending loan money on this trip, not to mention that I’ll be missing out on two weeks’ worth of wages since I work hourly, not to mention I feel guilty every time I do something for myself, not to mention stress and anxiety make feel alive because if I’m not in a state of panic I’VE OBVIOUSLY FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, but I will enjoy this trip because it is long overdue.
If I say it enough times, it’ll come true, right?
So, I’m going to use some yogi breathing techniques, stuff a bunch of lavender up my nose, and let it all goooooooooo before I visit the land of Frozen and those peeps who developed democracy (though it’s not really working out for them very well but the Euro’s hella cheap so whatevs). If you want to check out super obnoxious pictures of my trip, follow me on Instagram @thecoldshouldercat.